The Mix of the Month

Imagine standing in line for the most fatal rollercoaster ride of your life at Six Flags, where the local DJ is mixing the theme song of the amusement park full blast with RIDDIM rattling you so hard you change your mind at the last second and decide to go home early: except you can't. There's a sign that says "You must be this tall to exit the Rollercoaster of Doom," and you're too tall! Before you know it, the metal harness clamps you down and you are riding the rails of the most headbanging rollercoaster ride of your life, as you notice another sign while the Riddim from the local DJ is ripping your face off: "Attention Survivors! Free Candy Crystal at the Gift  Shop." You whip around to and fro, glancing at the other passengers as the metal harness binds you in reverse for another loop around the rails, and you realize there are no survivors. Only you. All the others are dead. Lifelessly riding the rails of the Rollercoaster of Doom. The Riddim was too loud for their little bodies to sustain any traces of life they had left. The local DJ transitions into "Crystallized" by John Summit as deep mourning settles over the suddenly unamused amusement park, resonating with your rise from extinction at Six Flags, feeling the frailty of existence as you step into the gift shop and claim your Crystal consolation. Congratulations. You survived. You're still here. Still alive, but barely. Your reward? "Crystal Riddim."